Another week

I'm sitting in my room with the window wide open, it's almost 10 and just now dusk, and I hear someone singing upstairs in our building. The program is almost half over, and we've settled into a routine now of rehearsals, lessons, coachings, and German class. I can say more things in German every day, although I'm not conversational yet, and I hardly know any grammar. Our official class is total immersion (and the teacher doesn't even speak English), so it's hard to understand when he explains grammar (which is rare--we had our first big grammar class today. I asked him, not knowing what a can of worms I was opening, to tell us all the articles for every noun declension). (And if you also don't know what a can of worms that is, check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_declension)

I've been working a lot on my personal mission for this summer: to get a better understanding of how MY voice works, technically and dramatically and musically, and to determine what works for me and become, or at least start to become, my own teacher. Melissa, my colleague from Mary Baldwin and best friend here, has shown me some breathing exercises she uses, which I am finding helpful. Singing is such an athletic activity--but not athletic like running a marathon. It's athletic in a a spiritual way...I am finding that singing well, for me at least, requires that I find a state of focus and connection to my breath and body that's related to yoga and meditation. For so long I have waited for someone to tell me when I'm singing correctly. But I do believe that everyone is born knowing how to use their voice (my teacher has taught me this: the baby's first cry is the most natural and efficient use of the voice). And so I am trying to listen to my body, which already knows how to sing, and find what feels most efficient and true and real when I sing. I'm using the teacher and coaches here as guides to tell me what they think sounds good--but I won't settle for what doesn't feel right to me.