A non-operatic adventure

So a friend suggested I should tell this story on yelp (which I have never read nor posted on), but I thought I'd share it here first.

Those who know me know that one of my big interests (besides opera) is the local food movement. I think it started when my sister told me to read The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan, but since then I've read many more books, watched documentaries, and talked to a lot of farmers. I've quit buying meat, eggs, or dairy at the grocery story and shop instead at the farmer's market. And since I got back from Germany, I've officially gone...let's call it "organi-vegetarian." I'll eat meat, but only if it's organic, free-range, and preferably local. Otherwise I'm eating vegetarian.

The other day, I went to a restaurant in Harrisonburg near where I teach private piano and voice lessons to children (that's in addition to my two college teaching positions). I'd never eaten there before, but I only had a few minutes before my first student, and I wanted a snack to carry me through my afternoon of teaching to dinner. And this place was close and convenient.

Based on the name and the design of the sign, I figured this wasn't really my usual favorite kind of place to eat (read: hipster). I think everything on the menu was meat, fried, or both. I walked in and stared at the menu, trying to find something I would eat.

I'm pretty sure it was the owner working the counter that day. As I hesitated, he asked me, "Are you looking for anything in particular?" Still skimming the menu for vegetarian options, I replied, not wanting to come across as too pretentious (as if!), "Well...I don't eat factory farmed meat."

He looked at me as if I'd just spoken German. "I'm sorry, you don't eat...what?" I repeated myself, "Factory farmed meat. You know...I only eat organic, free-range, local meat." He looked utterly shocked, and said, in a tone of concern, "But, I mean, I have to get my meat from a reputable source! It's not like I can just go buy meat from some local farmer--the Department of Health would be all over me!"

My polite smile began to feel more like a grimace, as I tried to avoid a debate. I didn't see the point of trying to educate or persuade this man...and besides, I had to teach in five minutes. "Yes," I said, attempting to renew my polite smile, "You do have to find reputable sources. I do buy meat at the farmer's market, though."

"Wow," said the restaurateur.

I continued to look at the menu. He looked at it, too, and suggested, "Well, we have the fried apples--those are delicious--or fried pickles." "Um-hmm," said I. He added, "Out of curiosity, why do you not eat factory-farmed meat?" I replied, "Well, it's an ethical choice for me. You know, because of how the animals are treated in factory farms." He said, "Oh, I've heard that about veal!" "Yes," I replied, "It's true of beef and dairy and chicken farms, too. They keep the animals confined in their own waste and feed them food that makes them sick." He said, "Oh, no, my cousin has a poultry farm. They keep them confined, sure, in a 90 foot warehouse!" Exactly, I thought. And there are probably 20 or 30 thousands chickens in there...

"Um-hmm," I said, my attempt at a polite smile now frozen to my face. "I'll try a fried pickle and the fried apples, that sounds good." Just like they serve at the county fair.

The apples were just really sweet apple pie filling in a styrofoam cup. I couldn't finish them. But the breaded and fried pickle was actually pretty good. Next time I guess I'll try to stop at the gas station for a granola bar and organic juice. Or something...

Return to Blogging...if not Germany yet

Obviously I haven't posted in a while, but I have decided to start writing again, although perhaps not as frequently as I did while in Germany. I haven't written because, well, I haven't really had many opera-related adventures since I got back, and nothing else in my life seemed worthy of sharing on the internet.

However, a few things have happened lately that would fall into the category of adventures for Opera Girl. I am planning to go back to Germany and audition. There are a lot of logistics surrounding that, of course, and I guess I will write about some of them as they come up. I imagine other singers considering auditioning there might find it helpful. Currently, the practical part of my plan is quite straightforward: I'm saving as much money as I can and practicing German as much as I can. I'm also trying to work regular German study into my daily schedule (that has been a little less successful than the random practice whenever I get a chance).

But to explain for the non-singers...auditioning in Germany is not as far-fetched as it may sound. For an American singer, Germany is actually Mecca. There are hundreds of professional opera companies who have full-time positions for singers, and they do often hire foreigners (unlike in some other countries, at least according to the Opera Grapevine). In America, as a singer, the best you can hope for is to be booked for the next few months, or the next year. That's if you're a big star singing in top opera houses and practically a household name (at least in the houses of opera fans). When you audition and get hired, congratulations! You're employed. For a month or two. During that time, you will be in rehearsals or performances and will probably not have time to search or audition for your next job. After that show is done, you're unemployed again. Here's your check, have a nice day. How many zero's are on that check can vary a lot, depending on your level, but once you finish the gig, you have to find the next one. And while some gigs may include perks like housing or food allowances or the opportunity to go to fancy parties as the celebrity guest and rub shoulders with rich patrons, you still are constantly looking for the next gig, and in the meantime spending a lot of your money on voice lessons, coachings, travel, and probably buying your own health insurance. You travel all the time--unless you're unemployed, in which case you're probably traveling to auditions to try to get work, and spending money you may not have on those trips.

Got the picture? Ok, now let's compare. In Germany they have a system called Repertory Houses. There are theater companies in the US that operate under this principal, but very few opera companies (and the ones I know of are only summer seasonal theaters). In a repertory company, you can get hired for a season--a year or maybe two. (Or, especially in the US, a summer season.) During the season, you will sing a variety of roles that are appropriate for your voice and character type. You receive a salary (which is a living wage) and health benefits (ok, Germany has completely different health care, but that's another topic entirely).  You can live in the town where you work and be part of a community. You get six weeks paid vacation and regular national holidays. Oh, and everyone speaks German.

Yeah, that sounds really good to me! So here's my oh-so-perfectly-worked-out plan...

1. Save money
2. Learn (more) German
3. Prepare 5 - 7 arias for German auditions until I can sing them really, really well.
4.. Go back to Germany during audition season
5. Write as many companies as I can find that might have openings for a singer like me and request an audition
6. Hopefully, get some auditions.
7. Sing really, really well.
8. See what happens!

Easy as pie, right? Anyway, the pumpkin pie I made (from scratch! from a local pumpkin! and sweetened with local honey!) for Thanksgiving this year turned out a lot better than last year's pie. So maybe I've learned something...

Reverse Culture Shock

Maybe I never got around to mentioning this, but I never felt culture shock in Germany. Actually, I didn't expect to. I've wanted to go to Europe for years. I've also been saying that when I did finally go, it would be to sing, and that I wouldn't want to come back.

Both true.

Although I noticed some things that were different, they didn't bother me. Actually, I liked them. There were even a few things I noticed that I might prefer about America--but those differences in Germany still just intrigued me.

But I think one of the biggest differences is how people react to opera singers. Here in America, when I tell people I'm an opera singer, I get one of two reactions. The first goes like this:
Long blank stare.
"You're an opera singer?? I love Phantom of the Opera."

I actually had this exact conversation with an American flight attendant on the way back. And if you're reading this and you DON'T know, Phantom of the Opera is NOT an opera. It's a Broadway musical. And I've never heard anyone sing it in a way that would, as my teacher says, "do battle with a 100-piece orchestra and win."

That's the good reaction. Here's the bad one:
Long blank stare.
"You're an...opera singer?! I hate opera."

Seriously? I hate what you do, too, and your little dog as well! How rude do people have to be?

Meanwhile, in Germany, when I told people I'm an opera singer, I got this reaction:
"You're an opera singer?! This is amazing! Why are you in this tiny little town? Where are you singing? When can I come hear you sing?"

Is it any wonder that I didn't want to come back? Today I spent some time in downtown Harrisonburg (which I do actually like, by the way) and talked a little with some very nice people about my trip. But even my friends don't really get it. I don't have words to explain it, any more than I could explain to my German friends how, as an opera singer in America, I have three degrees for which I paid thousands of dollars, and I'm qualified to work as a teacher making less than $15,000 a year...or to wait tables. (And the Germans wondered why we Americans were so nice and friendly to all the waiters when we ate out.) As a singer in Germany, you can get a job where you get a salary that you can live on and benefits and paid vacations (six weeks a year!), and you're working in a theater and singing all the time, and you work from 10 am to 2 pm and then from 6 pm until 10 or 11, unless you aren't needed for that day's rehearsal.

Is it just me, or does that sound like a perfect life? Plus the food is amazing (did I mention that?).

Back home

Well, I know I've been MIA here for a while. The last few days in Germany, I was so busy with performances and wanting to spend time with people (knowing I'd be leaving soon) that I didn't want to take time to write. But now I'm home safely.

After the Bergstadfest, we had one final performance of Suor Angelica (scheduled just a few weeks before that) and the Wolf Lieder section of the course. We each coached one, two, or three Lieder with Eckhard Sellheim, and we had concerts the final Saturday and Sunday. By this time, everyone was so tired from everything with the operas we'd performed that none of us had as much energy for the Lieder as we would have liked. And no one was able to memorize their Lieder (except those who were doing pieces they already had memorized). I had expected to have a little time to work on my Wolf Lieder during the first five weeks of the course--but no. I did try to memorize them, but in the end I used music (like everyone did!) for the concerts.

In the end, though, this did not matter. The Lieder section of the course was, in some ways, the most significant for David and Andrew, our collaborative pianists. I (having volunteered for extra work before arriving) was able to work with both of them. With David, I sang one short and not-too-difficult piece: Er ist's. With Andrew, I did two pieces. One was hard and the other nearly impossible--especially for the pianist. We, however, rose to the challenge and were able to perform both Charwoche (on Saturday) and Der Feurerriter (on Sunday). Der Feurerriter is the one that is almost impossible to play--and it's not easy to sing either--but it was really worth the effort. This song tells the story of a legend from the Black Forest about the "fire-rider"--a mysterious figure on a dark horse that appears whenever there is a fire. It's long and dramatic, and after a lot of extra rehearsal, we were able to really perform it, and we had a great time with it. Melissa actually recorded it, so I may be able to get that from her and post it in a few weeks.

The last Suor Angelica performance was almost a new production because of casting changes. Kathryn Green, our Principessa, had already made plans to leave immediately after the Bergstadfest (which was originally the last SA performance). So Corinne, the big-voiced young mezzo who was singing the Mistress of the Novices, was asked to sing the Principessa for that performance with piano. She's young yet for that role, but when she gets older her voice will be perfect for it. However, this left the role of the Mistress open. Since it's not too low or too high and the performance was with piano anyway, and since I knew I wouldn't be singing Genevieve (the other Genevive had had one less performance than me--or would have if we hadn't been rained out at Kreibstein)--I volunteered to learn the Mistress of the Novices. It's short, and that gave me the opportunity to get one more role on my resume before the summer was up. So, Corinne and I learned our new roles--music and staging--and we had one run-through of the show on Friday (before the Saturday performance). Everything was good...and then Kristina got sick. Kristina was singing the Moniter, the bigger mezzo role in the first half of the show. On Friday she got a stomach bug and was able to sing and walk through the rehearsal, but barely. We were concerned, then, that she might not make it to the show. So, when Bill (our conductor) asked if anyone would like to learn the role of the Moniter just as a safety net, Katherine (one of our girls from MBC!) volunteered.

Still all good, right?

But wait--there's more.

Sarah and Lauren were the Two Tournieres. Both of them knew both roles--Lauren suffered from illness this summer and they'd been switching between the two roles. In several rehearsals, when Lauren was sick, Sarah sang both parts. In performances they'd alternated, but Lauren had been so sick that she'd never really sung either one strongly. On Friday we learned that Sarah had an audition on Saturday (scheduled before this performance of SA was scheduled), and she might not be able to finish it in time to get to the performance.

No problem.

Let me reiterate: Corinne, who's been singing the Mistress of the Novices, is singing the Principessa.
I', who have been singing Genevive, am singing the Mistress. Kristina may or may not be on her feet, and Katherine (who normally sings Dolcina or chorus) has learned her role of the Moniter. I should add here that the roles of the Moniter and the Mistress are staged together. Kristina knows the staging well. I know it a little--especially if Kristina is helping me.  I've done it once. Katherine knows it only by what she's noticed when singing in the chorus, and has never done the staging for this role. And if Sarah doesn't make it back from her audition, Lauren will be singing the first AND second Tourniere--if her voice works at all.

Oh, and we had a Wolf Lieder concert the same day, before Suor Angelica. 

Kein Problem. (No problem.)

As it turned out, Sarah didn't make it back, but Kristina's health did, and so did Lauren's voice. Also the space turned out to be so small that we probably couldn't have fit Sarah on to the stage if she'd been there. The show went surprisingly smoothly (Leah of course sang Angelica beautifully, as always), and we had a good time.

After that kind of adventures, is it any wonder that I'm bored now at home? No crisis, no role to learn in two days, no three performances in one day...what shall I do with myself?

But it's been an amazing summer. I feel that I have changed, in good ways, as an artist and even as a person. And I don't want to fall back into the ways I was before.

Viel Spaβ!

Just a note...I wrote this last night (27.6.2011), but our internet was down. But that's the actual date for this entry. 

Viel Spaβ means “have fun.” It is used here in Germany before a performance instead of “good luck.” And that is about all I can say about last night’s final performance of Suor Angelica for the Freiberg Bergstadfest. I didn’t sing Suor Genevieve last night, but instead I got to sing my aria (Quando m’en vo) with the orchestra before we performed the opera. Now, this aria was not my first choice of what I would sing for this event, but it fit with the program and what they wanted to do, so I did it. However, although I’ve gotten consistently good feedback about it (especially here), it has always made me nervous. I sang it years ago, in undergrad, and I never feel that I sing my best on it, and I don’t feel completely comfortable with it.

Actually, I should put all of that in the past tense. Because this changed last night.

Just this week, as we have been working towards our orchestra performances of Suor Angelica, we had our first rehearsal with the Mittlesächisches Theater orchestra and with the conductor here, Maestro Herr Horstmann. I had met Herr Horstmann several times before, when he came to JMU when I was a student there to audition singers for this program. I’ve auditioned for him and sung in several masterclassses with him. But this week was the first time I sang with his orchestra and under his conducting…and what an experience that has been. I have only sung with orchestra a few times in my life, but this was by far the best I have ever worked with.  I don’t think I can say enough good things about Herr Horstmann…singing with him conducting feels like being a trapeze artist, “flying through the air with the greatest of ease”—but with a net.  He guides the orchestra to take care of you, the singer, and he is so musical and seems to instinctively know what will work best for each singer’s voice. When I worked with him on my aria and on Suor Genevieve, he gave me permission to do everything musically that I had wanted to do but didn’t think I could, and he gave me more wonderful things to do musically that I hadn’t thought of—and made it easy for me to do them.

If you’re not a singer, and you’ve never sung with a really good conductor, I don’t know how else to describe the experience.

Anyway, all summer I’ve been working on letting go of fear, especially in performance, and being real and open and in the moment. Last night I was nervous. It was the Bergstadfest, the big town festival. It was the biggest audience we’d had. The orchestra performed a symphonic piece, Leah and I each sang an aria, and then we did Suor Angelica (Melissa sang Angelica, and Vanessa sang Genevieve). This performance was built up as a big deal—we were told agents might be invited, and important people from the town of Freiberg were there. And there I was, all dressed up in my gown, feeling like a diva and also like an imposter, wondering if I really have the skill and talent to fill my own shoes.

Then I remembered something my friend Kathryn Green (who sang the Principessa) said to me when I was talking about nerves: “Take a deep breath and thank God for your life. Then open your mouth and SING!” I stood backstage and thought: Rachel, this is the fun part. If this isn’t among the most fun things you’ll ever do in your life—I don’t know what is. You are in Germany, singing a wonderful aria with an incredible orchestra for hundreds of people. This is what you want to do, what you are here to do—not just in Germany but maybe on this planet. VIEL SPAβ!

And so I walked out there, took a breath, thanked God for the opportunity to stand in my shoes that night, and sang. Halfway through my aria, I suddenly realized that I felt completely relaxed. I have never felt that comfortable and relaxed singing in front of an audience. I just stood there, enjoying the moment and the feel of the full, warm, beautiful sound of the orchestra filling my ears and my body, and then realized—oh, this is the part where I sing again! So I did.

Afterwards Leah told me it was the best she’d ever heard me sing. But for once, I wasn’t listening to myself or judging myself.

I was flying through the air.  

Falling in love with German

The better I get at German (and of course I'm still awful), the more I'm falling in love with this language. It's not always beautiful just to listen to, the way Italian is, and because of this I never loved it before. Before I only studied the sounds. Now I'm studying the vocabulary and the structure (a little), and it's so poetic. I can well believe that so many fairy tales come from this land, with its deep, dark woods and it's magic-making tongue. Some days I think I may have stumbled into a fairy tale myself.

Specifically, I love the compound words in German. The other day I was sitting at the Kaffee Momo (a coffee roaster and cafe that reminds me of all my favorite coffeeshops at home, including a wall full of books for patrons to read. I was so thrilled to see all that new reading material and then I remembered that I don't read German yet...), working on my Wolf Lieder translations. I came across this word: ahnungsvoll. By itself it wasn't in my dictionary, but when I broke it down I found it. It is Ahnung: foreshadowing, presentiment, plus voll: full. Literally, foreshadowings-full. Maybe German speakers don't notice this the way a non-native speaker does, because of course they just know what the word means. But to me, it is so beautiful and poetic--and so many words use this kind of word-architecture to build meanings from root words.

We only have two weeks more here. I'm so sad when I think about going back to a place where everyone speaks English all the time. Of course I speak English with the other Americans here, and with the Germans who speak English, but I love hanging out with the Germans when they speak to each other in German. I understand much better when people are talking to me, but I love to listen and try to understand. I'm starting to feel like I could be conversing in German if I could stay just one more month or so.

Now That's What I Call a Party!

Last night there was a huge party at the opera house to say farewell to the Intendent (general manager I think), who is leaving. He's been running this company for, I think, five years, and everyone in the company seems to love him (last night I could see why!), and so they threw him a really spectacular farewell party. Because Freiberg is such a small town, he's also a very important person throughout the town, and not only to the opera company members. Apparently this party was even more spectacular because it coincided with the full moon festival. I missed this last month, but it seems that every month for the full moon there is some sort of town-wide party to celebrate it. (And as an aside, in the month since we've been here there have been TWO national holidays for which the entire town--except the restaurants--closed down. Servers still have to work on holidays so everyone can go out to eat, but everyone else gets a lot of days off. It's like Christmas twice a month! except the presents. I think most holidays here actually involve beer more than presents, but then every day here involves beer.)

Have you ever been to a progressive dinner party? That's where you have drinks in one location, then go somewhere else for appetizers, a different place the main course, somewhere again for dessert...you get the idea. That's what this party last night was like. It started at 10 pm, after all our rehearsals and such were over (and everyone had time after rehearsal to change and get some food). Most people dressed up at least a little. The party was free for employees of the theater (including us), but members of the town had to buy tickets, at least for the part at the theater. For an hour or so, there was music in two rooms at the theater. One of the main choristers sang cabaret songs (I heard her sing La vie en rose), and upstairs Jan Horstmann (the conductor for the theater) played jazz (fabulously) with a violinist and cellist. Oh, and alcohol was sold. I had a glass of white wine (generally a mistake for me, but it made the jazz even better than it already was!).

After a while of this, everyone gathered on the square in front of the theater for a performance by Venetian Masks. This is, I think, a form of entertainment dating from medieval times. And I was fascinated. I think most of the other Americans were befuddled...but the experience took my breath away. All I could think was...here I stand, drinking a glass of wine, on ancient cobblestones in an old town in Germany, watching a dance performance probably very similar to ones performed in Italy in the 15 or 1600s. I couldn't stop smiling. And I didn't have my camera!

So, after the masks, we walked to the Freiberg castle. I had forgotten there was, in fact, a castle in this town. I think there are castles in most towns, actually. But yesterday's was not my first castle: the day before we went to Louenstein and performed in a castle (I volunteered to do a song in the recital just because I wanted to be able to say I had sung in a castle!). But I won't deny I was a little disappointed: both the castle here in Freiberg and the one on Louenstein look more like very large, old houses than Cinderella's palace at Disneyworld. The Freiberg castle has, if I remember correctly, two towers, and the rest is just like a very, very big, square stone house. But there is a bridge to the front entrance which crosses (truly!) a COURTYARD, which is surrounded by the original wall, built of stones. If the Venetian masks didn't do me in, this certainly did. I felt as though I were in a storybook. There was music here too--some strings I think--but I was so taken by admiring the castle that I missed it, and spent this stage of the party talking with Michael, our director for Suor Angelica, about castles.

But wait! there's more! The party was STILL not finished. After the castle we all (and I haven't mentioned this...by all of us I mean probably around 100 or more people walking down the little cobblestoned streets of downtown Freiberg in a big stream) walked to the Tivoli, a sort of theater/club. I hadn't been there yet, either, but they have bands and also performances there. The first week we were here, Die Fledermaus was performed there, but we weren't able to go because of our rehearsal schedule (which was a huge disappointment to me--I really would have loved to see Die Fledermaus in Germany!). The party ended at the Tivoli, but not for several hours more. They sold more beer, wine, and pretzels there, and the performances ranged from a sort of German folk duo and a German garage-type band to opera and musical theater. I think my favorite was the skit of a scene from the musical Spring Awakening. It started with a man wearing a very fake pencil mustache, a robe, and a turban, and ended with the girl taking off her blouse to reveal a body suit including...yes, ass-less chaps. (She was wearing a thong under that, does that count??) That wasn't my favorite part, though. During this skit, they both kept making each other laugh. He would do something funny, and she would get that look that actors get when they're trying not to break character, and then she would start to giggle and try to stop it. Next time it would be her making him laugh. And a couple of times they both just lost it and cracked up. And actors breaking character because they can't stop laughing is funny in any language, whether or not you understand what's being said!

Finally, at 2 am, the entertainment ended and we all meandered home to bed. Fortunately, I wasn't scheduled for anything this morning, so I was able to take part of the morning to catch up on sleep. Tonight a group is going to Chemnitz Opera to see The Full Monti. I'm not sure yet whether I'll be going, but it should be good regardless.

Performances!

Tomorrow we have our first performance of Suor Angelica. Actually, we have two performances: one in a place called Kloisterbuch, which was originally a real convent, and one here in Freiberg, in the theater's small black-box space which they call "the Bib" (I have no idea why). Although the roles of Suor Angelica and Suor Genevive (my role) are double-cast (two people sing each of those roles), the Angelica's are singing another small role when not singing Angelica, and the Genevive's sing in the chorus on their off nights. So everyone has two shows tomorrow, as well as travel. And we had a rehearsal tonight as well...it's 10:30 and I just got back to my hotel, and we leave tomorrow at 9 am.

The schedule here is very demanding--actually, more demanding than any I've ever had or heard of for professional or community performances--but I'm feeling pretty good in spite of it. And I'm excited to perform tomorrow. My friend Melissa and I will be singing together in Kloisterbuch. Apparently it's a small space and since I have a pretty big voice and Melissa's is pretty huge, I'm hoping we might bring down a brick or two of the old building. Now that would be a souvenir! But she and I will perform in Freiberg at the end of June with orchestra during the Bergstadfest (Mountain Town Festival). This is apparently a major music festival and tourist event held here every year during the last weekend of June. So I'm looking forward to that!

If I have any energy left on Sunday after tomorrow's marathon, I really want to go to Leipzig. There is an a cappella group performing that I would like to hear and possibly meet. However, most of our group has another performance on Sunday night, and the few who don't will probably be too tired from tomorrow to do anything. I'm a little afraid to go by myself...I think I can make myself understood and understand German now if I need to, but my sense of direction is still utterly hopeless. I'm quite confident that, even though I spent an entire afternoon just a few weeks ago walking around Leipzig, if I go alone I will become hopelessly lost, miss the last train back, and have to call someone from our group to come pick me up with one of the rental cars--probably around midnight.

Is that melodramatic? Maybe...but I'm also very tired!

I'm feeling pretty good about how I'm singing, though. Most of all, I'm getting good feedback from everyone here, and I'm trusting my own judgement a lot more. (It's funny...as soon as I stopped trying to please anyone but myself, everyone started telling me how well I was singing. There's a huge lesson in that, and it doesn't only apply to singing!) It looks like I'll be singing Quando m'en vo for one of the orchestra concerts, which should be fun. At least it's short and sweet (or sassy, as the case may be). Anne, the voice teacher here, told me I sounded spectacular on it--but I'm still not completely satisfied with how I'm singing it. However, that performance won't be for several weeks yet, so I hope I can finally fix the things I don't like about it. I've been singing this aria for years--ever since I was in undergrad--and I've never felt completely comfortable with it, although I think I've always sung it pretty well, taking into account my growth over the years with it. Now, just these past few weeks--these past few days really--I've finally stopped waiting for someone to tell me why it doesn't feel right or seem to work quite right for me and I've asked myself those questions. And somehow I'm surprised to find I know the answers. So I'm trying to work through the technical bumps in that piece so I can give a performance that I'll be proud of.

Meanwhile, though, my role for tomorrow is not too difficult, and it does have a few moments of glorious music. Melissa sings the title role beautifully and has made me cry several times in rehearsal. And the part that makes me cry is after I'm done singing but not before I'm done acting, and my character does actually cry. It would be really wonderful if I could really cry on stage--but I've never been able to do that when I wanted to. We'll see if I can break through THAT barrier before the summer ends.

Another week

I'm sitting in my room with the window wide open, it's almost 10 and just now dusk, and I hear someone singing upstairs in our building. The program is almost half over, and we've settled into a routine now of rehearsals, lessons, coachings, and German class. I can say more things in German every day, although I'm not conversational yet, and I hardly know any grammar. Our official class is total immersion (and the teacher doesn't even speak English), so it's hard to understand when he explains grammar (which is rare--we had our first big grammar class today. I asked him, not knowing what a can of worms I was opening, to tell us all the articles for every noun declension). (And if you also don't know what a can of worms that is, check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_declension)

I've been working a lot on my personal mission for this summer: to get a better understanding of how MY voice works, technically and dramatically and musically, and to determine what works for me and become, or at least start to become, my own teacher. Melissa, my colleague from Mary Baldwin and best friend here, has shown me some breathing exercises she uses, which I am finding helpful. Singing is such an athletic activity--but not athletic like running a marathon. It's athletic in a a spiritual way...I am finding that singing well, for me at least, requires that I find a state of focus and connection to my breath and body that's related to yoga and meditation. For so long I have waited for someone to tell me when I'm singing correctly. But I do believe that everyone is born knowing how to use their voice (my teacher has taught me this: the baby's first cry is the most natural and efficient use of the voice). And so I am trying to listen to my body, which already knows how to sing, and find what feels most efficient and true and real when I sing. I'm using the teacher and coaches here as guides to tell me what they think sounds good--but I won't settle for what doesn't feel right to me.

Weekend Adventures

Well, I've been trying to blog every day or every other day, but again the past few days have been busy and I was tired! But I have tonight off and so can report on the last few days.

On Sunday, we went to Leipzig, and I fell in love with the town. I am one of the drivers for the two mini-vans our program rented, so I got to drive on the Autobahn. And I learned something. I always thought (silly me!) there was ONE road called the Autobahn that had no speed limit. Not so. The Autobahn is just the German version of an American interstate or highway. Any highway is called the Autobahn, and between towns, there is no speed limit. But (fortunately for me!) not everyone drives unreasonably fast. I, of course, drive like a grandmother, even though the minivan (sadly!) actually accelerates better than my car at home. I went around 65 or 70, about the same speed I would drive on 81 at home. But I still passed some other vehicles, especially tractor trailers and trucks. One time I approached a truck that was driving slowly and wanted to pass. I checked the left lane and saw no cars at all--none approaching, none in my sight (yes, Dad, I checked my blind spot too). So I changed lanes and started to pass--accelerating slowly, as I would at home. Suddenly I heard a horn, and checking my rear view mirror, I saw a car directly behind me--really on my bumper. They had come up so quickly that I didn't have time to pass the truck before they were on top of me. I accelerated past the truck as quickly as I could and got into the right lane so the crazy impatient German driver could pass me.

Even if there's no speed limit, I think tailgating should still be illegal!

Other than that, however, my driving on the Autobahn was fairly uneventful. The GPS got us safely and quickly to Leipzig, which is an incredible town. We found a parking space in a large, open lot--not too close to the center of town, so it wasn't crowded--and walked to the Thomaskirche (Thomas Church).

This is a church where J.S. Bach was the choir master for many years, and his grave was moved there in the 1900's (and is there now). Martin Luther also preached there when he brought the message of the Reformation to Leipzig. Many of Bach's compositions were written for this church and performed there first. When Bach's music was re-discovered and became popular again after his death, it was performed first at the Thomakirche.

Of course the church has been renovated many times and in many ways, but it was incredibly moving to be in a place where so much history--both musical and religious--occurred. I have always been a fan of Martin Luther, and I walked down the aisle to a Bach cantata at my wedding. Standing on stones where these men walked, seeing the pulpit where Luther preached, the baptismal font where 11 of Bach's 13 children were baptized, and paying my respects to Bach's grave--I found myself weeping for joy and beauty and gratitude. That was what I felt more than anything: gratitude. These men lived so long ago, and yet their legacy is part of my life and has helped shape me into the person I am today. When I stood by Bach's grave, I whispered, "Danke," (thank you). I think he may have paused over the music he's writing still and responded--"Bitte." 

The rest of the day was a little less uplifting, however. We had come to Leipzig in two groups because half the group had a performance in the morning. Those of us who didn't have a performance wanted to go to Leipzig earlier so we could spend some more time there. In the afternoon, we had planned to see an operetta (tickets covered by the program!). However, on our way back to OUR van, we ran into the other group--in a tiny parking lot filled with cars parked where they should not have been. (I cannot emphasize this enough: people were parked in imaginary spaces, and no-one seemed to care.) My friend Leah and I decided we should go get our van so we could meet with the other two vehicles (the other mini-van and a car) and carpool together to the theater. So we did. When we got back, the other two had left without us, leaving the students from our vehicle waiting for us. But I didn't realize this until after I had pulled into the tiny, crowded parking lot. (Do you have a guess at where this story is going yet?) Everyone got in the car and I tried to pull OUT of the lot so we could go to the theater. But I couldn't squeeze through the tiny space left for the exit. Yes, that's right: I hit a parked car.

And apparently in Germany this is a big deal. It's not enough to leave a note with your number. You must call the police for any kind of collision. So...we did. We also knew, then, that we were not going to the theater. At least I wasn't. The others in my van could have gone if they wanted to, but as it turned out, everyone was more interested in spending more time seeing Leipzig. So we waited for the police, and while we were waiting, the owner of the car I had hit showed up. Fortunately, she spoke excellent English. Then the cops came, and one of them spoke English as well. Sadly, although she was parked practically across the exit, I was still at fault. Fortunately, her car was barely scratched--although of course she seemed to think there might be severe damage. Apparently Germans are very picky about their cars. But when I spoke to the program director, she was not terribly concerned. The program has insurance and it's not a big deal. Kein problem! (No problem!)

So, an hour later, we had more time to see Leipzig. I and a few others got a tour from Sarah, an American singer who lives in Leipzig now and is singing a role in our program. So that was great fun, and the drive home (much later) was mostly uneventful except that the GPS was very insistent about trying to take us on the road that was closed for construction. What I wouldn't give for a sense of direction...

Another funny thing on Sunday was that Andrew, one of the student pianists in our group, told me he thought I should go on the TV show "Amazing Race." He said he thought I could win. Obviously I would need a partner, but I think Phil and I together could very possibly win. He would do anything requiring physical courage or skill (like climbing, rappelling, or sports of any kind), but I could do anything requiring nerdy problem-solving skills, talking to people who don't speak English, or a Damsel in Distress routine (I have had a LOT of practice at this).

This weekend is a long one because tomorrow is Mannerstag--Men's Day. Apparently March 8 is International Women's Day, but the US doesn't observe it (shame on us!). From what I understood of our German teacher's sign language, on Women's Day you give your girlfriend or wife chocolate and flowers (got that Phil? It's like another Valentine's Day :) ). However, tomorrow, June 2, is Men's Day. It's also a religious holiday--I think forty days after Ascension--or else it IS Ascension and that's forty days after Easter. But apparently Men's Day is also an international holiday celebrated by men young, old, single, and married by (1) not working, and (2) drinking beer.

And that seems very German to me.

However, although we won't have German class tomorrow or Friday because of Men's Day, we will have all-day rehearsals tomorrow for Suor Angelica and The Beggar's Opera instead. I'm in Suor Angelica, of course, so it will be a pretty long day. On Friday, though, I might be going to Dresden (if I don't have rehearsal) because my aunt Sally, who lives in California and whom I rarely see, will be there! (Sally, if you're reading this...email me!)

La vie boheme

The past week has been a whirl of rehearsals for Suor Angelica, lessons, coachings, and (my favorite) German food and language. I'm starting (after only two weeks!) to reach that point of learning a language where I understand, sometimes, what's being said, without actually consciously recognizing any words or being able to say how I know what's going on. For example, last night I went to Amici restaurant again with my friend Melissa, Ian (the gay big brother of the group), and Dr. Maddison (the teacher from JMU who runs the program). As always, that was a good time. We were (again) waited on by both Zali (not Zati as I wrote when we met him) and Ati, the Albanian-cum-German waiters, who also speak some Italian--but no English. (Actually, I think Ati is half Albanian and half Macedonian. He drew us a map of where he is from.) After our long and relaxed meal (I had pizza again...I should really try something else there but the pizza is just addictive), Ati invited us to come out to the Cafe Mumu (or something like that) with them after they got off work. This was one of those moments: I understood what he was saying but I don't know how. Except I couldn't understand what time he was saying (I really need to spend some time memorizing German numbers). Unfortunately, when he wrote the time down for me, it was 24:00--midnight! Later he told Ian they were actually going at 1 am. Melissa doesn't do late nights--and I usually don't either, but Ian and I considered going.

But that's all well and good for waiters who have Sundays off, but we are opera singers. Ian has a performance this morning, and both of us are the rental van drivers for today's tourist trip to Leipzig, where we'll be seeing the church where Bach was Kapellmeister for a long time (at least I think that's right) and going to an operetta matinee. And I'm singing in a concert tomorrow night. All that doesn't quite say--party at the Cafe Mumu. So we didn't go. This morning when I woke up I was thinking how I would tell them (in German of course) that I wanted to go if it weren't so late, and another time when we don't have such a full weekend, we will go.

Is it just me, or does it sound like I'm living in an opera? Albanians? Cafe Mumu (isn't the cafe in Boheme called something like that)?

Anyway. I've been thinking about what I want to accomplish this summer as a singer. I believe I wrote a while ago about how I tend to be insecure about my singing and my technique. I think I need to work out for myself what works for my voice and what doesn't and stick to it, and I need to stop trying to please everyone and trust my own judgement. That is my goal for this summer, while I am away from MY teacher and working with many different teachers and coaches who I neither know nor know if I can trust, who don't know my voice yet or my journey.

The opportunity to go to cafes in the middle of the night with German-speaking Albanians is, I suppose, just a bonus.

Wie essen! (we eat!)

Well, I've been wondering what to write about because the past few days have been more of the same. We have rehearsals and German class every day, sometimes I have individual lessons or coachings, and I've been practicing German as much as possible. I'm also spending way too much money on food.

So far, my friend Melissa and I have gone out to dinner several times. Eating out is much cheaper here than in the States, but I still can't afford to do it every day. But Melissa and I have sampled Czech food, Chinese food, Italian food, and of course lots of German food. There's a Mexican/Indian place (is it just me, or is that really strange combination?) we want to try. The only thing I haven't tried is American food. I'm told it's different here and therefore interesting, but let's be honest: I don't care that much for American food at home. I don't want to eat it here. I certainly don't want to go to McDonald's--ugh!

German food, however, is amazing. For the first few days I tried to follow my Stateside dietary guidelines--low gluten, low dairy, and very careful about meat. But after a few days, I was told that most meat here is probably not factory farmed, especially if I buy it from the butcher or the street vendors. And the bread is all fresh-baked, which at home I usually find easier on my stomach, gluten-free or not. So I've been eating bread rolls from every bakery (backerie), brotwurst from the street vendors, and ice cream cones (ok, I think they were gelato or yogurt, which I eat at home) from the little Eiscafes. And have I mentioned the coffee? I may never drink drip coffee again. Well, I'm sure I will, but I won't enjoy it for a long time. I am completely spoiled for coffee in the States. Here, every little shop sells Kaffee--and it's not drip coffee. It's French press or espresso, and it's billig (cheap)! A small cup is usually less than one Euro, and I add some milk and sugar. It's strong and foamy and oh, so good! Amazingly, even though I've been eating everything, I feel great! I haven't had the tiniest allergic symptom since I've been here. My stomach, so sensitive at home to any change in diet or schedule, has been fine since the first day of exhaustion. However, I am being very careful about how much I eat, because despite all the exercise, I think the warnings I had about the possibility of gaining weight are true. If I didn't pay attention, I think I could get very fat here.Everything is so delicious!

However, there has been an issue this week with fresh fruits and vegetables here. There's been a bacteria on some produce, and a number of people in Germany have gotten food poisoning. Two people from our group--Anne, one of the teachers, and Susan, the wife of one of the coaches, have gotten sick. Today we were all officially warned to thoroughly wash and/or cook everything, and to immediately tell the group leader if we have any symptoms of food poisoning. But most of us are still fine, and hopefully no one else will get sick.

Today for lunch Melissa and I ate at a Fleischerie--a butcher shop. I wasn't sure what to order because I didn't know any of the words on the menu. I looked at what some other people had and ended up getting some help from a nice couple who spoke some English. The husband turned out to be a Romanian who plays cello in the orchestra for the opera house! His wife spoke very good English and helped me order. I ended up with a Schnitzel, which turned out to be a chicken patty, and mashed potatoes. It was great and I ate it all without even considering whether the chicken was free-range. Then Melissa and I sat at a sort of picnic table outside.

Now, I have heard that here it's acceptable to just sit down with people you don't know in a cafe if there are chairs available. Today, this happened! A German guy--a student--came and joined us. So we spoke with him in broken and slow German, a little English, and some Spanish--which he spoke as well. He was very nice and helpful and taught me to say "I like to practice German": "Ich übe gern Deutch."  That will probably be my new favorite phrase.

Ich verstehe ein Bisschen Deutch

Yesterday was a banner day: I was right about directions. My friend Melissa and I were riding our bikes to German class. We came to an intersection and she said, "I think it's this way," indicating the right. "I thought it was to the left," said I, "so you're probably right." (It's always safe for me to assume my instinct is wrong when it comes to directions.) So we rode a little way and then realized we were going the wrong way. Melissa said, "I think I was wrong! I think we should have gone left." We turned around and headed back. Sure enough, when we got to the next intersection--there we were! Take a right across the park, past the shirtless German boys sitting by the roundabout in the park (seriously: every time I've passed this spot, there has been a group of at least 8 half-naked German guys just hanging out and showing off. They remind me of my neighbors The Keg Boys in college--do they ever go to class?), and straight up the hill to German class on the right!

Today I walked from the hotel to the downtown area by myself. On the way I was greeted (for no reason I could see except that I was smiling like an idiot) by a Vietnamese man. He spoke German to me, of course, and I had to answer with what is quickly becoming my favorite phrase: "Ich verstehe ein Bisschen Deutch " (I understand a little German). He asked me where I was from and told me he was from Vietnam. Then he said some other things I didn't understand, to which I smiled and nodded, and then we said goodbye.

At least I can carry on the beginning and end of a conversation, even if I miss the entire middle!

Today's highlight, however, was the snowman (der Schneemann). When I arrived downtown, I ran into Andrew, one of the pianists from our program. We both wanted to do some shopping and started to wander in that direction together. We had a sing-through of Suor Angelica this afternoon, but at that time we had about an hour before that happened. So we're just meandering along, looking in the shops (the few that are open! a lot of places close on Saturday!), and suddenly Andrew says, "Rachel, there's a snowman behind you." I turned around and stared. Indeed, there was a man in a very large snowman costume walking down the street. So I waved. "Allo," said the Snowman. "Allo," I replied. Then, of course, he said something I didn't understand. I of course brought back my signature phrase: "Ich vershehe ein Bisschen Deutch!" He replied, "Is ok, I am international Snowman!"

Well, you don't meet one of THOSE every day.

So we chatted with the Snowman a little, in rough English (on his part) and worse German (on mine). We learned that he was advertising the grand opening of a costume shop just down the street ("Two hundred meters! Only two yards!" "No, that's two hundred yards." "Vat? How many yards in a meter?") He also had coupons for us to get a free hat at the costume shop. Naturally we accepted--how can you refuse a free hat from a new costume shop when you're in Germany?

When we got to the costume shop, there was a cart, like an American old-fashioned ice cream cart, in front of it. But instead of ice cream, the sign said "Cocktails!", and he was selling drinks. I also saw a sign for soda, although I'm not sure that wasn't a lie. "Allo," I said to the man in the cart. "Allo," he replied, and then (again!) something I couldn't understand. "Ja," I smiled and nodded, "ein Coke, bitte?" 
So he poured me some champagne in a small plastic cup. It was 50 cents (all his drinks were 50 cents)...and I didn't have the heart to turn it down. Besides, how often will I have the chance to drink champagne for only 50 cents before lunch while wearing a free cowboy hat in Germany?  (At this rate, it might be every Saturday. I don't know.)

Those of you who know me know that I am a lightweight. The champagne was delicious and strong, and I had not yet had lunch. I got a little tipsy but had a Doner (a popular kind of sandwich) and a coffee and was almost completely sober by the time we started rehearsal. But it was long, and I really was sober by the time I sang.

Tomorrow we have the day off, but some of us are getting up to hear a Bach cantata in a Lutheran church (and Luther was from Saxony!) accompanied by an organ made by the company that designed Bach's organs. Guess I'd better get some sleep!

Auf Deutch, bitte!

For the past two days, I have been having SO much fun. We started German classes on Monday (my first ever), so I've had three German classes in my life (an hour and a half each). And now I've been in Germany for three full days (if you count today, which is nearly over). And already I'm starting to be able to communicate well enough to engage my most important superpower of networking.

Last night, Melissa and I went to dinner at the Italian restaurant that is downstairs from our hotel in the same building. Our waiter, Zati (not sure about the spelling), was an Albanian who speaks German, Albanian, and some Serbian--but no English at all. Another waiter helped him communicate with us, but mostly we spoke the universal languages of sign language and telepathy. Fortunately, I'm fluent in both of those, and I'm learning how to say a few things in German as well! We ordered some really delicious food. (I ordered a small veggie pizza and intended to eat part of it and take some home for later. I ate the entire thing--after covering it in the olive oil that was on the table.) We also had a great time trying to talk to him. I asked him how to thank him in Serbian, and he had to ask his father, who was sitting at the next table and looked like he could possibly be part of the Serbian mafia--and who stared at us after I thanked Zati in Serbian. (It's falla, if you're wondering!)

This morning I bravely ventured downtown all alone (alleine)! If you know me at all, you know that I am terrible with directions. I can get lost anywhere, even places I've been many times before. I get lost in people's homes on my way back from the bathroom, and I got lost once backstage at an audition (and that's a story for another blog post, maybe!). So trying to find my way around a strange town in a foreign language which I really don't speak or understand at all is daunting, to say the least. But I am a bold and fearless explorer! So, since I've been following my colleagues around for the past few days, I decided to try exploring on my own a little today. I knew I would probably get lost, but I also knew it was the only way I would ever learn my way around at all. I left the hotel and was relieved to see Zati standing outside the Amici Restaurant with a friend, smoking (everyone seems to smoke here! or at least all the men). So I asked, "Wo ists...downtown? With the cobblestone streets?" (gesturing to the street). Zati looked confused, but his friend seemed to understand. He explained to me slowly, in German: "Gehen (counting on his fingers) einz, zwei, drei Gasse (street)...[some words I didn't understand]...und links (gesturing to the left, a word I already knew)...und...(more incomprehensible words and an arm gesture which clearly meant "continue to the end".

Clear as mud.

So I walked to the third cross street, turned left, kept going straight for a few blocks, and lo and behold! Downtown! Cobblestone streets and all the shops! However, next I had to find my way to the theater for a meeting. But Theater is the same in German, and I was hopeful that I might run into another American from our group, less directionally challenged than myself (as is pretty much everyone in the world), who could lead me to the theater. Sure enough, I saw one buying some bread (Brot) in a little shop almost as soon as I found the downtown. "Brian!" I cried, "I'm glad to see you! Do you know how to get to the theater?" He looked at me oddly. (I think it was right around the corner from where we were.) "Yes." "Whew," said I, "I'm hopeless with directions, you know." We had a little time, so we wandered around a little and I helped him buy a bottle of water (Wasser?, along with a gesture outlining a bottle, and "to go" [spoken in English], with a gesture out the door).

After our meeting, the entire group went together to German class. And after THAT, I had coffee with another member of the group (Ian) at a cafe that was one of the few businesses that survived under Communism. Kinda cool, and the coffee here is just wonderful and cheap. No drip coffee, but French press everywhere for 1 or 2 Euros or even less. And espresso drinks are cheap too. I guess if you like weak coffee it would be awful, but I like it strong and chewy, and I think it's fabulous. I also prefer my water with bubbles, and that's the default here, although they do charge you for the water.

Anyway, after our coffee, Ian had to go back to the theater for rehearsal, and I was headed back to the hotel. I bravely set off on my own without even asking him to explain to me how to get back. I thought I knew--I did so well this morning! But I missed a turn and found myself in completely unfamiliar surroundings.

Well, I knew that was coming. It's the only way I can ever learn my way around a new place: by getting lost a lot. Fortunately I had nowhere to be and nothing particular to do, so for a while I just kept walking. I saw some signs that said "Hotel Kronzprintz" (where we are staying) with an arrow, but eventually I realized I must have missed the turn for the Kronzprintz and had clearly gone too far. So I plucked up my courage and approached a stranger.

"Bitte, wo ists der Bahnhofstrasse?" (The Bahnhofstrasse is the street I'm staying on.) Well, he started speaking German--quite quickly--and I didn't understand. But he gestured down one street and indicated some turns, and I understood--go down that street, then left.

But left where?

Well, nothing for it but to try! So I started down that street hoping I might recognize the turn (yeah, right!), but knowing I could always ask for directions again. Soon enough I decided I was pretty lost again. So again I approached a stranger: "Bitte, wo ists der Bahnhofstrasse? Hotel Kronzprintz?" Again the flood of German. Is my accent good enough that they think I'll understand? Or are they actually speaking slowly and carefully and I just can't understand anyway? Again I followed the gestures, but again, after a few blocks, I decided I needed directions again.

Well, you know the drill. This man was actually more helpful--the other two were helpful but didn't seem to know any English, so they couldn't even give me a few words--and took some time and even walked a few steps with me to point me in the right direction. He explained several times, in English and German, until I actually understood what to do. Also the directions were shorter this time, since each round of getting lost had actually gotten me a little closer to my destination. So I walked down the street, turned left, and--voila! I was on the Bahnhofstrasse. A few blocks down I saw the Amici restaurant, which meant I was home. What a relief!

Of course I was wearing my sandals, which gave me some blisters. But it was totally worth it. I was actually very excited that I was able to communicate well enough to get home, even though I did have to ask multiple people. The truth is, I probably would have had to do the same thing in a city where everyone spoke English. It hardly has to do with the language barrier, just my problems with direction!!

Tonight Melissa and I went out to dinner again--this time to a Czech restaurant. Yes, you read that right. I know I should be eating more German food--and I am--and I will--but seriously?? Italian is one thing, since we have it in the States, but how many chances will I have to eat Czech food? We ordered an appetizer, a salad, and an entree and just shared everything.

Fortunately the waiter spoke German and some English. Not Czech, although I did ask him to read for me the Czech names of the dishes we ordered. And the menu was in all three of those languages. Our salad had this description in English: This everyone in Czech Republic loves. Good enough for me! It was fabulous--a thick chunk of Camembert cheese on toast with salad, which I'm pretty sure was made from local greens, because they were really fresh and delicious. It was also more expensive than most restaurants here--about the same as a nice sit-down place in Virginia--say Clementine's in Harrisonburg or maybe the Mockingbird in Staunton. I should stop eating out so much, although mostly it's very cheap, but it's such a great way to practice German!